I Was Thinking... What I Don’t Need

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, most children develop extensive lists of things they would want as presents. As a child, the arrival of the Sears Christmas catalog was a big event in our house. This and any other advertisement that showed up in the mail was scrutinized by all the children in the family to complete their list of things they wanted to ask Santa for Christmas.
That excitement of many decades ago has changed dramatically for someone entering their last quarter of a century. Now when any of my family members ask me what I’d like for either my birthday or Christmas, I come up blank.
For years and years of birthdays, Christmas, and just buying my own stuff, I have accumulated a myriad of possessions. Living at home with my parents, I had one room. When my wife and I got married we had an apartment and then a trailer. We finally were able to get a little more room when we built a house and had a basement. Then a garage was added, and a garden shed. But one thing was always true, no matter how much room you had, you soon found a way to fill it.
Recently, there was an event at church where several men acted as waiters for a luncheon and we all were asked to wear a white shirt and a tie. When I went to my closet, my biggest problem was deciding “what tie” to select. After 35 years of teaching, I had amassed quite a collection of neckwear. I definitely don’t need another tie.
Assessing the rest of my tightly packed closet also convinced me I don’t need any additional clothes. The floor of the closet indicated I’m probably set for shoes as well. A standard present for dads were slippers. The last I checked, I had a fairly new pair in the bedroom, and slightly worn pair I used to walk in the garage, and a still older pair in my workshop in the basement. That’s not counting the pair my wife knitted for me years ago.
As the weather got colder, I dug out a box with winter gloves. It didn’t take long to realize I probably have as many gloves as I’ll ever need unless I suddenly get hired to do manual labor. I moved my summer jackets from the closet and found I probably have enough winter outerwear to outfit a small army. When our daughter was getting something out of our freezer in the basement, she wondered who owned all the boots. So those are also things I don’t need.
Another standard gift for dads were after shave lotions. I’m sure my dad always had a good supply of Old Spice. I don’t have many reasons to dress up and wear cologne anymore and when I checked the drawer in the bathroom vanity there were still bottles of English Leather, Jade East, and Brut. Since my wife once sold Avon, I also have several collector editions of their fragrances.
When all else fails, you could always buy dad some type of tool. Men love tools, and that may be the problem. When we see something we like, we usually buy it. I have a vast array of screwdrivers, plenty of hammers, several kinds of saws, and some power tools I’ve yet to take out of the box. Since I rarely throw anything away, I also have enough nails, screws, nuts and bolts, wire, and extension cords to open my own hardware store. So, what do I need?
I’ve finally decided that future gifts have to fit certain parameters. They can’t take up much room, I don’t have to wear it, and they don’t have to be dusted. It could be something I can eat, something I can use up, or allows me to go someplace. Some of the gifts that fit the criteria are bird seed, AA batteries, car wash cards and restaurant gift certificates. Have you got that Santa?
 
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