I Was Thinking... I Can’t Shop

At my age, you would think something as simple as going to a grocery store would be a simple task. But as with everything else today, it’s not like it once was. Now if that doesn’t make me sound like an old fogy, nothing will.
This realization became evident when my wife asked me to stop at Aldi when I was in Rochester. I think she said, “Stop and see if they have anything good on sale.” But having me stop at a store to pick something up without a list only adds to the challenge, and then it’s Aldi.
Normally when I enter a grocery store, I grab the nearest cart and go in. But not at Aldi. As I attempted to pull out a cart, I realized they were “locked” together like some medieval prisoners. I didn’t realize cart theft was such an issue at a store that is a mile away from any residential area. I tried to pull one free but an elderly woman pointed to the slot. “A quarter?” I have to pay to use a cart. But the lady explained I could get my quarter back when I returned the cart. I dug into my pockets and came up with a parking ticket stub, a dime, two pennies, and a piece of lint. With a look of pity, the lady handed me a quarter and said this one was on her.
Once inside, the first thing I noticed was they had changed things. Although I hadn’t been there an awful lot, I had a general idea of the location of some of the products. But I think it must be a corporate strategy to regularly move things around so people have to search every aisle to find what they want. The next issue was recognizing what I was looking at. There were no regular brand names. I saw no Wheaties, Rice Krispies, or Fruit Loops. Instead, there were names like Circles Possibly, Crispy Oat, and Natures Blend. The boxes looked familiar, but the brands were Earth Grown, Simply Nature, and Happy Farm. I put in three experimental items in the cart and hoped they would taste like food. When I turned the corner, I came to the middle aisle and felt I’d left the store.
Remember, my wife told me to pick up something if it was on sale. Well, I could have brought home a grill, a giant pillow, a cyclonic vacuum, an air mattress, kitchen curtains, or a yoga mat. Luckily, I resisted the various temptations and moved back to the food zones.
I came across the fresh produce for which Aldi is well known. Blueberries, grapes, bananas, strawberries, and more. I was just about to pick up some berries when I noticed they were “organically” grown and were $5.99 / lb. Aren’t all fruits organically grown? I don’t know any that are grown in a lab yet. I selected some blueberries that seemed to be a good price and headed to the check out.
I could either go through the self-check-out lane or the one with the long line. Since I was eager to leave, I thought I’d do it myself. I got the scanning part done okay but then had to pay. I was going to use cash but couldn’t find the slot to put in my money so I pulled out my credit card. I slid it down the side and nothing happened. I tried to put it into a slot but must have put it in backwards so again nothing happened. The impatient person behind me said, “just tap it”. I tapped the top and the machine finally came to life and produced my receipt. Then I went to bag my purchases but couldn’t find either paper or plastic. That’s when I remembered Aldi doesn’t provide either. I also had failed to pick up any empty boxes while shopping.
I shoved the cart to my car and unloaded and looked for a cart corral. That’s when I remembered there was a quarter still stuck in it. I did return it and at least came out a quarter ahead for the day.
Did You Ever Wonder? — Why do we call it hamburger, if it is made with beef?