I Was Thinking . . . Rite Quik

Spell check has been a godsend since I began my weekly columns. This feature has saved me from many embarrassing writing errors. While spelling has never been one of my strengths, it seems like it is getting harder and harder with the advertising onslaught of purposefully misspelled words. 

The key to advertising is being noticed. To accomplish this, businesses have come up with clever names or unique spellings to attract our attention. But before I finish this column, the spell check on my computer may blow a gasket. In their efforts to gain notoriety, it has become  more difficult for teachers to teach the correct spelling of anything.  

From morning to night, we are assailed by “adver-spell” in many aspects of our lives. At breakfast little Johnny may stare at his cereal box of “Trix” or “Froot Loops.” On the way to school, his dad may stop at Kwik Trip for gas and Dunkin Donuts for something to eat. At the stop sign they may be next to a Peterbilt semi as they head to school. 

Then the teacher has to tell him how important it is to spell correctly.

After school, his mom may pick him up but needs to stop at the Publix grocery store to get some Cheez Whiz for sandwiches. She needs a coffee fix, so she stops at Kum and Go before she drops the car off a Quik Stop for an oil change. To get home she calls Lyft for a ride. But she has them drive through Chick fil A to get sandwiches for dinner. And now we know why Johnny can’t spell. But it isn’t just spelling teachers that are affected by businesses urge to stand out.  

There are all kinds of establishments that get creative in trying to get noticed. Literature, history, movies, and even celebrities become opportunities for companies.  

Food businesses like Hindenburger, Lord of the Fries, Thai Tanic, Planet of the Grapes, Salt and Battery Fish Shop and Tequila Mockingbird definitely get noticed. If they didn’t get your attention, how about Bread Pitt, Pita Pan, The Codfather, Bread Zeppelin or Lord of the Wings. Coffee shops get imaginative too with names like Huggamug, Grinders Café, The Busy Bean or Jumpstart Coffee.  

Hairdressers get ingenious with names as well. Places like, My Hair Lady, Live and Let Dye, Curl Up and Dye Salon, Hairway to Heaven, and Jack the Clipper all are sure to make you look twice. Even dentists vie for attention when they name their establishments “Root Us On Dental” or “Fiddle on the Tooth.” Craftsmen also joined in with original names.

Some of the plumber names were Spring a Leak, No Drip Fix, Elegant Flush, The Trusty Wrench, and Feeling Flush. Electrical contractors came up with Power Surge, Electric Avenue, No Shorts Electric, and Current Electric. 

Carpenters used names like Color Me Timbers, Come Bark at Us, Log in With Us, and Your Shavings Account. Even handymen became innovative with titles like Nailed It Handyman, Just Screw It Handyman, and Honey Do Handyman. 

While I do admire the resourcefulness businesses have achieved in trying to draw the publics’ attention to their venue, I wonder what it has done to our written communication skills. But I do have to add one more I came across in my research that was a good play on words. This florist adopted the name, Back to the Fuchsia. So, I’d better Kwit Riting for today. 

Did You Ever Wonder?  If a cow doesn't produce milk, is she a milk dud or an udder failure?

Photo:  I was thinking Ron Albright